Name: Effective 1-1s: Small Changes, Big Impact
Uploaded: 2026-01-22T19:30:40.721Z
Duration: 58 min 44 s
Description: Effective 1-1s: Small Changes, Big Impact

Transcript for "Effective 1-1s: Small Changes, Big Impact": Hello, everyone. Welcome. We're gonna give folks a few minutes to join us, couple minutes here, but I see folks are already lighting up the chat with some, information as to where you are. I'm gonna invite you to do a little bit more than that. Feel free to also include your role, your title, what organization you're with, and maybe even one boring fact about you. Don't try to impress us. Give us something easy. And Philly is in the house. Thank you, Devin. And if you'd like to include your email address I mean, yeah, LinkedIn address, go ahead and do that as well. I know sometimes folks like to connect with others, so feel free to do those things in the chat. I am coming to you from snowy New Hampshire today. Oh, key hey. Alright, Scott. New Hampshire in the house. Excellent. I'm in Conway. Alright. Oh, we've got Toronto. We've got The UK. Good evening to you. Whatever time of the day it is, welcome. Welcome, everybody. Oh, we've got Hawaii in the house. This is great. Okay. Keep them coming. Oh, Chris, Atlanta, I hope you're ready for whatever is coming. The weather people don't seem to be able to figure it out, but it's gonna be big. That's all they keep saying. Alright. Hello, everyone. Welcome. Welcome. Happy birthday, Stacy. Alright. Great. Thank you, everybody. Okay. I wanna go ahead and get us started. Feel free to keep lighting up the chat. So we're gonna go ahead and get started. And thank you everybody for coming today. My name is Kathy. My pronouns are she, her. I am one of the facilitators here at LifeLabs Learning. And I am excited to be with you today, to talk about effective one on ones. Now I'm gonna come in hot here because I truly believe this is true. Managers who nail their one on ones, who really leverage this time for the most it can be, are able to revolutionize the way people feel about work. And I know you're thinking like, woo wee. That sounds hot. However, two things. One, I've seen it happen over and over again with the managers that we work with at LifeLabs, but I've also found the evidence behind it. So Gallup in their 2024 state of the global workplace report, one of their findings was that 70% of an employee's happiness at work depends on their manager. No pressure. Right? But 70% of how people feel about showing up at work every day depends on the relationship they have with their manager. And what better time than in our one on one meetings to foster that relationship? So, we are going to yes, Zena. Absolutely. Managers make or break the workplace. Never more true words spoken. Alright. So we are gonna go ahead and, head into our session here. Why are my slides not sharing? Okay. Alright. Here we go. So first of all, welcome to Culture Club. If this is your first time ever in Culture Club, go ahead and write me in the chat. Oh. Alright. Lots of folks here for the first time. Welcome. So let me tell you a little bit about what this is. Culture Club is something that we here at LifeLabs absolutely love. It is a monthly people ops gathering, and this is your support and learning network. One of the things that can be so challenging about being a people ops person is the fact that we are often the only ones of our kind in our organization. I was working once with a group of software engineers, and one of them referred to his HR folks as the aliens among us. And I was like, yes. That is exactly what it feels like sometimes. And so this is a space for you to connect with other people people, and to spend a little bit of time on your own growth and development. So definitely connect in the chat. And this is also a little time for you to learn about learning. And so one of the things we do at LifeLabs is we work with some incredible organizations. And when we do, what we like to do is figure out who is really good at something. Who runs great meetings? Who gives great feedback? Who are the really great leaders and managers? And we study those folks. We try to learn from them and figure out what is it that separates them from the average person. We then hit the research. We wanna make sure everything we bring you really does ring true, that there is science behind it. And then the last thing we do is boil it down to what are the smallest possible changes that can have the biggest impact. And that is one of the things I love about the work that I do. Is oftentimes, you know, you go to a two hour workshop and by the end of it, you've got a head full of ideas and an inbox full of messages that you missed over the two hours. And you leave with good intentions, but you never do anything. And one of the things we like to do at LifeLabs is really boil down to like, what is one small thing you can do right away and see what the difference is. And so one of the things we're gonna be doing today is we will be talking about the purpose of one on ones. We're gonna spend most of the time today talking about five things that we crave as humans and how those things can really show up in our one on one conversations and how we can use them to sort of engineer an environment where people feel more engaged. And then at the end, we will pick a focus. And that focus is what is gonna be the one little thing that you are going to be doing going forward. Okay. Let's see here. Courtney, I'm having a little trouble. Courtney is our backstage manager here today who is going to be doing a fabulous job for us. Courtney, I'm having to share every slide manually. Is there something I'm missing in terms of, like, just using the arrow key? Let me see if I can alright. Oh, I'll okay. I'm gonna use those arrows, not my keyboard arrows. I think that is what I was trying to do. Cool. Alright. Okay, everybody. Sorry about that. We're back. Alright. So here's what I would like to know is let's actually, let's first define this. Right? So most managers that I talk to, when they talk about their one on ones, they tend to meet once a week, once every other week, sometimes once a month. That's pretty rare. And usually somewhere from a half hour to an hour long. So that can be a lot of time. So my question for you is, why are one on ones so important? What why do you what do you value about them? So go ahead, drop in the chat. What do you value most about your one on ones? And one thing I wanna say here is if you are not a manager and you think, oh, no. This workshop isn't for me because I don't run one on ones. Well, I bet you have one on ones with your manager. Right? So look at it from that lens too. Think about the managers who are at your organization. How could you help them out? Okay. So let's see what folks are saying here. Yes. Connection. Absolutely. Knowing what's going Especially in the virtual world, it's oftentimes just a what the heck is going on? Offering support, updates on progress, alignment. Yeah. Individual time together, checking on well-being. Yes. Learning about their needs. Wanting them to feel heard. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay. Great. These are wonderful. So many things I'm seeing here. Okay. And one of the things oh my gosh. Jerry, I love this. We're gonna talk about this in a minute. Focus time for the employee to bring items forward, brag themselves up, and ask for help. Yes. I love that. We're gonna talk about that in just a few minutes. We need more self bragging in our one on ones. Okay. This is great. So there's really sort of two things that are coming up here. One is just performance. Right? Unblocking people, delegating things. By the way, we have a wonderful delegation workshop. Definitely check that one out. Lots and lots of things that can happen in terms of performance. But then the other piece of this, and this is one of the places where we see great managers sort of differentiating themselves, is also this is a time to work on engagement. Now, let's talk about what we mean by that. So you're all people ops folks. You know what engagement means, but let's just level set this a little bit. So a combination of commitment to the organization and eager willingness to help colleagues, a heightened emotional connection that influences you to exert greater discretionary effort. So a little something here. I know I can't see all of you, but, I want you all to raise your hand as high as you can. So go ahead and everybody raise your hand as high as you can. And now, I want you to raise it a little bit higher. My guess is some of you are stretching a little bit, maybe a couple of you are getting up out of your chairs and standing, whatever it may be. That little bit, that is discretionary effort. So when folks go that little bit oh, good, Ashley. You got a good stretch and do both arms for sure. When you have someone on your team who says, oh, you know what? As I was finishing that project up, I realized the documentation was out of date, so I just went ahead and did it. Oh, we love those people so much. Right? They are what makes things work so well. And so if we can help people to feel engaged, they are much more likely to do that. The other thing we know about people who are engaged is that they tend to be happier. They tend to be more pleasant to be around. They tend to stick around longer. So all of these things are going to make your life easier. But here is the hard truth. We cannot demand engagement. Right? You will be engaged. If anyone has ever seen someone try to walk a cat on a leash, It's kinda like that. Right? The cat I mean, this picture actually, think, is is too cooperative. Right? I've tried this before. My cat flopped over and then shuffled out. It was like she had been studying how humans took shirts off their entire lives and got them to go out. And so if you've ever seen a cat who is walking willingly on a leash, that cat is probably really engaged. Right? Something has happened there. So engagement can be engineered. And that is where these five brain cravings are gonna come in. So these are the things that we can do to sort of engineer a more conducive environment to engagement. So our five brain cravings are certainty, autonomy, meaning, progress, and social inclusion. And if you look at them, they spell CAMPS. We call this our camps framework. And a good way yeah. Steven, you beat me to it. Yes. A good way to remember this is, are you in the engaged camp or the disengaged camp? Right? That is a way to think about this. I'm gonna drop those in the chat there for you so that you have them. And we're gonna just go through each of these and talk about how can we optimize for this. How can we use our one on ones to really make this more likely to happen? So we'll start with certainty. Now, let's face it. We live in an uncertain world. Right? And so the more we can do to help people feel some sense of certainty at work, the better off we are. So here are some questions that people often ask when they're concerned about certainty. Right? So how clear and explicit are expectations? If anyone here has ever worked in a position where you really were trying to guess and had no idea what was expected of you, tell us in the chat what that felt like. Because that, when people feel uncertain, they're not sure, like, is this even what I'm supposed to be doing? That can react clear as mud. Absolutely, Ashley. Last one, what don't I know that I don't know? Right? When you're just like, I don't even know what question to ask. I'm so uncertain. Right? That just feels bad. Oh my gosh. I'm seeing all yes. Anxiety, demotivating, walking through a mind field. Yes. Imagine if that's how you felt every day. Right? So when we can help people feel a sense of certainty, it really makes them feel a lot better at work. So one thing to do is to create rituals. Now this is something I think agile methodology does really, really well. Right? We have the daily stand up and we know exactly how long that meeting's gonna be, what the format of it is, what's gonna happen. Right? That's one example of a ritual. Others might be, getting together once a month to celebrate birthdays. Sending out a weekly email to your team or to your organization. Right? Those little rituals are things that people can really depend on. If you have some sort of a ritual that you or your team uses, go ahead and drop that in the chat. Let us know what are some what are some rituals that you depend on either from your manager, from, you know, maybe, from the head of your organization? Is there any sort of ritual that really helps you to sort of feel a little more certain? Alright. Yeah. Oh, great. Okay. Fantastic. Love these. And I love that there's some fun ones in there. Right? They don't all have to be stand ups, but, all sorts of good. Yes, Chris. Weekly team meetings absolutely count. Alright. Oh, Scott, I love that. The two minute video via chat, especially in the virtual world. We need to see more of each other to hear each other's voices. Alright. Great. Thank you. Keep those coming. And if you see any there that look interesting to you, grab them out of the chat. This is a time for us to learn from each other. Okay. Next up is consistent communication. I have a funny story that kinda goes back to the creating rituals thing. Our director of facilitation at LifeLabs about a year or so ago said, you know, I don't think I really need to send out a weekly email. It just feels like too much. I'm gonna do every other week. What happened was people were constantly like, wait, is this the week that we don't get an email? Like, he almost had to send a this page left intentionally blank email to say, there will be no email this week because it was just that little bit of uncertainty that really can just sort of, you know, be the the grain of sand in the cogwheels. So consistently communicating. So saying in a one on one, you know what? I don't know that information, but I'm gonna get back to you by Friday with it. And if I haven't come up with an answer by Friday, I will email you anyway to let you know that I'm still working on it. Right? That sort of consistently closes the gaps, help people to feel more certain. And so that is a great tool as well. Taking notes and following up. I love it when somebody says to me, hey, a couple of weeks ago, you said you were going to run a 10 k. How did it go? By the way, that has never happened in my life. I hate running. I don't know where that example just came from. But, you know, when somebody remembers something and asks you about it. Right? Hey. A couple of weeks ago, you mentioned you were interested in learning more about x y z. I have an opportunity for that. Right? When you're able to follow-up and let people know that they are on your minds, that can really help to boost certainty. Alright. And then the last one is clarifying expectations. Right? It's just going back to what people just wrote in the chat. When you are uncertain about what is expected of you, it's really hard on your psyche. And so clarifying, what should my priorities be this week? What should I be working on? What are the expectations? When people feel clear about that, they feel a much greater sense of certainty. Alright. Yes. Yeah. Sarah, absolutely. When people follow-up, it feels like you're being heard. Absolutely. Okay. Great. And like I said before, we live in an uncertain world. Sometimes there might be uncertainty as to, you know, is my job secure? What's going on with the environment? Whatever it may be. Anything you can do to say, okay, here on this team, in this moment, in this one on one, I'm gonna provide you with as much certainty as I can about the things we have control over, that can make a big difference. You can sort of be the the island in the storm there. Alright. So let's go ahead. We're gonna jump into our worksheet. Now I see in the chat a couple folks might be having a hard time getting the worksheet. So you could certainly just jot this down on a piece of paper. Here's what we're gonna be doing. You are going to for each of these camps cravings, as we finish with them, you're gonna come to this worksheet and you are going to score yourself on a scale of one to 10 on how satisfied you are. So in this case, a one would be, oh my gosh, I wake up with my stomach in knots every morning because I don't know what's going on at work. I feel so uncertain. Right? That would be a one. And a 10 would be, I'm cool. I know what I need to know, and I'm okay with the things I don't know. I it I don't lose any sleep over this. That would be a 10. Alright. So figure out where you are on that scale and go ahead and score yourself. And Courtney just dropped the doc link in the chat. So if that is useful to you, there it is. Good question, Jessica. Thank you. So how satisfied you are? So today, we're just talking about yourself. When we teach this workshop to managers, we ask them to do it with their direct reports. But for today, we're asking you to evaluate yourself. So how satisfied are you with your sense of certainty? So do you know all the things you need to know? Alright. Oh, and Kayla, guess what? I got you on the very next slide. Here we go. Here is a reminder of what we covered in this section, some of the ways to increase certainty. Alright. So when we increase certainty, it helps people to feel a little more in control of things, a little more understanding of what's expected of them, and that can have a tremendous difference. So that is our first brain craving. We're gonna switch gears now and talk about autonomy. Now I always like to stop here and remind people that while we all crave these five things, we crave them at different levels. So for one person, certainty might be really, really important. That is the camp's craving that is most important for them. For other people, it's not a big deal, but boy, don't get in the way of my autonomy. I might be talking about myself right now. I actually certainty not a huge thing for me but oh my goodness, do not take away my autonomy. I wanna know that I've had a say in things. I wanna be able to do things the way I wanna do them. That's an important one for me. So know that these are gonna be different for different people. So here are some questions folks might, wonder about when thinking about autonomy. Right? In what parts of my work do I have ownership? Where do I need more guidance? Now here's another thing to realize. For some people, more autonomy is not necessarily a good thing. Right? Some people want some guidance. They want less autonomy and more guardrails. So this is this might be a scale here. Does my opinion matter? Right? These are the things that people might ask about. So one interesting thing to know, we think we like a lot of choice, but sometimes we get a little stymied by too much choice and we do not like it when our autonomy or choice is taken away from us. So there was a study that was done. And by the way, take this as a cautionary tale. I'm gonna out myself as something really bad I did early on as a manager. So in this study, there were four groups. And the four groups, group one just had desks and chairs, office furniture, the end. Group two had that same setup, but they also had art and plants. Group three had all of those things. They got to set it up any way they wanted. So they took the art and the plants and the furniture and they designed their own office space. Group four also got what group three got. But the next morning when they showed up to work, management had rearranged and said this is the way it has to stay now. Now this was originally a study done around productivity and engagement. And, of course, what they found was group four reported to be the least productive and engaged because they had had their autonomy taken away. But the really thing that the thing that I found really interesting was that group three, the group that had the most autonomy, actually reported feeling physically more comfortable than the other three groups. It was the same furniture, but they felt more physically comfortable because they got to set it up the way they want it. And so when I was a new manager, I thought I was really smart. By the way, I had zero training as a manager. I'm sure many of you have had the same situation where you're thrown in like, oh, you're good at what you do. Here, be a manager and manage other people. Oh my gosh. It's a nightmare. So I thought I was super smart and I said, you know, I've got these new employees. I'm just gonna let them go with things and see how they do. And then if they need my help, I'll I'll pull them in. That was group four. Right? I was doing exactly the thing that study said not to do. So yes, you heard it here first, folks. Don't don't out me on LinkedIn, please. But that was what I did because I thought that was the right thing to do and I hear so many managers saying that. So the thing with autonomy is figuring out where do people need to be. Right? If they have too much autonomy, they're gonna feel highly uncertain. If they have too little autonomy, they're going to feel micromanaged. So let me ask you all in the chat. What are some ways that you help people get the right amount of autonomy? 'm gonna drop that question in the chat there. There we go. What are some ways you help people to get the right amount of autonomy? Oh, yes. Samantha, just ask. This is not rocket science. Right? Ask them. Yes. How much do you know, do you want more? Do you want less? Checking in. Yes. Asking people how comfortable they are. Yes. Amanda asking what do you think instead of giving a solution. Oh, an adaptive management matrix. Great. Remain open to feedback and questions. Yeah, Tina. Absolutely. And demonstrating that you're open to it. Right? Empowering them. Yes. Alright. These are great. Thank you. One yes. Okay. Kimberly, that is a wonderful little checklist here. Check-in often, involve them in brainstorming, display empathy. Check. Check. Check. I love that. Thank you. Alright. I had a manager tell me recently, and I love this technique. She said, I know that my direct reports are ready to totally be on their own on something when not only can they do the thing I asked them to do correctly, but they can explain to me why they did it that way. And I thought, oh, that's really good. Right? Because maybe they just got lucky. But when they can say, here is why I did it this way, then you really know they've got it. And so I love that as sort of a a checkpoint for giving someone full autonomy. Alright. Let's go ahead and go back to our little score sheet here. And go ahead and score yourself on a scale of one to 10, how satisfied are you with your sense of autonomy? Remembering that it doesn't mean one is you have no autonomy and 10 is that you have a lot of autonomy. It's how satisfied are you. Right? Do you have the right amount for your needs? Okay. So go ahead and score yourself. And you can go ahead and drop that in the chat, but go ahead and put it on your worksheet as well. Oh, I'm loving these. It's got some high scores here. That's good to see. And then just a reminder of some of the things you can do to increase autonomy. I will tell you one more story here before we move on. Years ago, I was a school librarian and I inherited this terrible volunteer program. And when I say terrible, it's because literally the volunteers would call or email me the day they were supposed to come in and say, I'm not coming in because it's really nice outside today. This actually happened multiple times. Or they'd come in and they'd be like, what do you want me to do? And I'm just, oh my gosh. I'm so busy. I don't have time for this. And so what I did was I brought each of them in, sat down with them in a one on one, and said, what do you like to do? What are you good at? How long would you like to, you know, volunteer? Like, what is your time commitment like? And then I gave each of them a small thing that was totally theirs. So for one person, was come in for like fifteen, twenty minutes once a week, put out all the new magazines, take out the old ones, put them in the cut up cart. Yes. This is when magazines were still a thing. That's how long ago this was. You know, and that was her thing. Another one came in once a month for a couple of hours and put up a new bulletin board. And I let these people know if you don't come in, those magazines are gonna sit there. It will be Christmas in July. Right? I am not doing these things. No one is doing these things. What happened really quickly was they started showing up. They knew what they needed to do when they got there. Great. Both problems solved. But then a third thing happened. They started coming to me and saying, hey, Kathy. I think I have an idea of how we could do this better. Hey, Kathy. What do you think about this? These were people who are unpaid and who previously weren't even showing up, and now they're coming up with great ideas. This is what happens when you give the person just the right amount of autonomy and fully let them own it. And so that is my last little plug here for autonomy. I promise I will now get off my soapbox. Okay. We are gonna head into our third camp's craving, and this one is meaning. This one is so important to so many people. Right? I need to know that the work that I do matters. And in the virtual world, this can be really hard. We often lose the thread. We live in a TLDR world. People try to keep their email short, keep their meetings short, and we often sacrifice the context that people need to feel a sense of meaning. So let me quickly tell a story here. This is an old parable you may have heard before where someone is walking down the street and they see three stonemasons working. And the first stonemason looks pretty grumpy. And the the person stops and says, what are you doing? And he says, what does it look like I'm doing? I'm laying one stone on top of the other. Then he moves on to the second stonemason who's just not quite as grumpy but not happy. And he says, what are you doing? And he says, I'm building a wall. And then the passerby goes to the third stonemason and says, what are you doing? And that one jumps up to his feet, gestures in the air and says, I'm building a beautiful cathedral. People from all over are going to come and be here in their most, you know, most important moments of life. That is what it looks like when someone knows the meaning of the work that they do. Right? When they can see the bigger picture, when they see that what they do matters. Alright. So here's what I am going to do. Osei, thank you for deblurring TLDR in the chat. For a moment there, I thought that Courtney was telling me that I told my story too long. Yes. TLDR is too long, didn't read. Okay. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to think about a not so exciting task that you do, and I want you to think about why does it matter. Okay? I'm gonna give you a moment on this one. I want you to type your answer in chat, but do not hit enter yet. Okay? So pick some boring task, something that you're like, oh my gosh. Why do I even do this? And write down why it matters, but don't hit enter yet. Alright. Now before you hit enter, I want you to ask yourself. So read what you just wrote and then say, okay. And why does that matter? And write another sentence. Okay. So add another sentence adding even more meaning. Why does that matter? So for example, I might say, well, one of the things I have to do is have one on ones with all of my direct reports so that they feel a sense of meaning and progress at work. And then if I asked, well, why does that matter? Well, because if I do that, then they're gonna be hopefully much happier at work. They're gonna work harder. They're gonna stick around longer. Okay. Well, why does that matter? Well, happy people usually go home and have happier conversations with their friends and family, and that might lead to a happier world. Right? I could keep I could keep going until I get to sunshine and unicorns here. Alright. Hit enter whenever you are ready. Let's see what sort of meaning people came up with. Yeah. Carrie, absolutely. Sure. Safety meetings, we could just say it's checking off a compliance box. Right? But when you say when someone is mentally and physically safe and happy, they can go home to their families. Yeah. Absolutely. Oh my gosh. Yes. Barrett. Absolutely. An incorrect medical bill adds to people's stress. Right? That when you say that, then that little thing somebody has to do feels so much more powerful and meaningful. This is great. Alright. Thank you. I love these. I I'm gonna go back later later and read more of these. These are really cool to see. Okay. So when you can help your team see that work matters, that their work matters, it really helps them to link up. And that can be such a powerful thing. Now I will say here a couple of other studies that have been done here. Adam Grant did a really good one on meaning where he did a study at a university call center. When people at the call center, these are people who call and ask for donations, they get yelled at and hung up on a lot. When they were given a glimpse into the meaning of the work they do, they were shown a five minute presentation from a student who got a scholarship. In one of the versions of the study, the monthly money that they raised went up 400%. In another study, people who read MRIs, when they had a photograph of the person whose MRI they were reading, were much more thorough and accurate in their diagnosis. So every time we give people a glimpse into the meaning of the work that they do, it makes them even more productive and accurate in the work that they do. Alright. Let's go ahead and go back into our worksheet here and diagnose yourself. On a scale of one to 10, how satisfied are you with the meaning of the work that you do? Do you understand why it matters? Alright. And I just realized I've I skipped a slide, I'm gonna go back one here. This may seem so basic, but reminding remembering to say these things. Right? This matters because. I'm bringing this up because. The reason for this is. The the context is, the backstory is every time you're able to add a little bit more meaning and context, that helps people to see how the work they do links up to something bigger. And so that is a great way to boost meaning. Alright. So just a moment here to recap. Just ask people. Right? One of the things I love to ask people, especially when they're like six to nine months into a new job, I'll say, when you tell your friends and family, what you do for work, what's the first thing you tell them? Right? I I love to know that because, like, what do they lead with? That really makes a difference there. Jocelyn, as I hope that was the one you were looking for. You asked if you could go back again. Alright. Great. So we're going to link to the link work to the mission, share those impact statements, ask them what is most meaningful. All of those things can help. And when we boost people's meaning, it directly impacts their productivity and their accuracy at work. So this is a big one. Okay. Moving right along. We are going to our next brain craving. We've got two more to go. We're feeling some progress here, and the next one is progress. So when folks worry about progress, it is often about their growth and development or it could be the day to day tasks that they have to do. Right? So many different, things that can impact a sense of progress. And so these are some of the questions people might ask and it can be hard. Right? Especially when things are moving fast and we feel like we're just constantly going, going, going. I know this is going to date me, but if any of you have ever seen the old I love Lucy where she's working at the chocolate factory and she's just shoving the chocolates in her mouth as they come down the conveyor belt because she can't get them into the boxes fast enough. That is what it feels like. Okay. Kim is with me on this. So that is what it feels like, right, when we don't have a good sense of progress. It's just like, oh my gosh. You know, I can't move fast enough. So let's figure out how do we help. When we make progress, what happens is we get a hit of dopamine in our brain. It feels good and we want to do it again. If you are someone who has ever added something to your to do list, just so you can cross it off, go ahead and write me in the chat. I don't don't leave me hanging here. I know I'm not alone. Yes. Yes. Yes. Because it feels so good. Right? I want credit for that. I'm adding it to the bottom so I can cross it off. That is what happens. That's why video games are so engaging. Every game you're playing, there's at least three indicators of your progress. Right? There's the points. There's the lives. There's the, you know, levels, whatever. And that just keeps you going. And we can sort of gamify our one on ones to figure out how to release that same dopamine. So this is really interesting. This was a study done at Harvard Business School with Theresa Amable and her team. And they analyzed over 14,000 journal entries where they ask people just to write, what did you do and how are you feeling? And what they found was that, sure, if you got a big promotion or you landed a new account or something like that, something big happened, it might briefly impact your happiness at work. But really, the thing that kept people going was that small continued progress. Every day they felt like they got a little bit done. Those were the people who were consistently happy at work. And so figuring out how do we help people feel that. And one of the things we can do, as came up earlier, is invite people to brag on themselves. So starting your one on ones with a small win. So here's what I want you to do right now. It's Thursday. So I want you to think of this week so far, and I want you to think about what is one small win that you have had this week. It could be that you folded a basket full of laundry before it turned into a wrinkly mess. Whatever it is. Okay? Go ahead in the chat. What is one small win that you had this week? Okay. Ashley, you're coming in hot. I think that's a big one. Got your team to engage in AI analytics. Alright. Laundry mountain conquered. Oh, wow. Iris, I'm so glad that this worked out for the time and you this is your first week leading one on ones. Kim worked out. Woo hoo. Alright. These are fantastic. Great. Thank you. Oh, this is wonderful. So here's what happens. First of all, we have a negativity bias. We remember the negative more than the positive. We talk about the negative more than the positive. And so if your direct report knows that every week when they come in, the first thing you're gonna ask them is what was a win you had this week? What it does is it starts to retrain our brains. We have to look for things to talk about. If you've ever tried to keep a gratitude journal, you probably know that after the first few days, you think, oh my gosh, I'm just writing down the same three things every day. And you have to look for things to write down. Okay? My favorite thing, every day, I walk on the beach, which is great. That is something to be grateful for. But I'm extra grateful if somebody's dog comes up and lets me pet it because I love dogs. Right? So that is something I like, oh my gosh. The cutest little puppy let me pet it this morning. I'm gonna remember that to write down tonight. That's the kind of switch that you flip when you train someone to look for wins. Now if that's not good enough, here is another reason. Let's say you keep notes for your one on ones. Right? And every week, you ask your direct report what's a win and you jot it down, then guess what? When it comes to performance review time, you now have a list of all sorts of things that have gone well. You also have opportunities to help them feel a sense of progress, to help them feel like they've achieved something because you can celebrate those small wins. So lots and lots of good reasons for small wins. Alright. Next up is skills based feedback. And this is one of the things I love to then layer onto those small wins. So we have a wonderful feedback skills workshop that, teaches how to do this well, but let me just give you a quick example here. So here's a piece of feedback you could give. Right? Like, oh, I noticed you got the group to align on a decision in fifteen minutes. Great. Feels a little like a pat on the head. Right? Like, good job. A lot of people also don't like being praised, and so it's just kinda like, oh, yeah. Yeah. Everybody's good at that. I don't know. I guess I've always been good at that. Right? We we push that away. Instead, if you give more skills based feedback, here's what you might say. I noticed you got the group group to align on a decision in fifteen minutes. Great facilitation skills. What helped you to get the timing right? When you do this, you name, hey, you're good at this thing and how did you get so good at that? It's going to force that person to stop and say, oh gosh. I now that you say that, you're right. Two months ago, such and such happened, and I learned a lesson from it, now I've started doing this. We don't give ourselves credit for the things we get good at. Right? We think everyone's good at that. I don't know. I guess I've always been good at that. And so when you ask a question like this, you get that person to stop and think about how they got better, and that unlocks tremendous progress. So when you give someone praise, don't forget to ask a question at the end. Right? How did you get so good at this? Do you have a do you have ideas about how we could get everyone else to be so good at this? Right? Things like that to help that person really ring as much progress and excitement as they can out of that thing they're good at. Okay. Let's go back to our grid here. And I'd like you to score yourself again this time on progress. How satisfied are you with your sense of progress? And I see lots and lots of good ideas coming up in the chat for how people keep notes for their one on ones. Thank you. Keep those coming and learn from each other. And Misha, I just popped into the q and a and saw your question there. Are big wins more or less important? Well, what this study showed was not that one is more important than the other, but that sustained those sustained small wins were what led to ongoing happiness. So folks who on a daily basis didn't feel like they were making much progress, but then once in a while had big progress or big win, they were not as happy at work as the people who had that little bit every day. So I wouldn't say one is more important than the other, but in terms of feeling that sense of progress, seeing that you're making those little strides every day is, at least in that study was what unlocked happiness. Okay. So going back to our recap here to increase progress, start with small wins and give that ongoing skill based feedback. And making progress a little bit every day is a known indicator of sustained workplace happiness. So definitely a good one to focus on. Okay. We have one more to go and that is social inclusion. Right? Do I belong here? Does the culture here meet my needs? Does my team value me? And this is another one that in the virtual world can be so hard to achieve. And so, let's talk about this one a little bit. So one thing to know, this is fascinating. Now with fMRI technology, we are able to see inside our brains. And one of the things that researchers have found is that the same neural pathways that light up when we feel physical pain also light up when we feel left out. So whack your thumb with a hammer, neural pathways light up. Get excluded from a from a conversation and feel like you've been left out, same neural pathways light up. It is a survival urge. It is baked into our neurons to stay together because that is how we survive the best. Now different people resonate with this one differently just like all the others. But everyone, even if they don't wanna join the ping pong team or be best friends with everybody at work, still needs to feel like they belong. So the first, tip we have here is make time for small talk. And I know there are some people who really struggle with small talk. So I wanna hear from the people who don't struggle with small talk. What tips do you have? Give us some concrete tips here. What should people who struggle with small talk try to do? Go ahead and drop your answers in the chat here for me. Yeah. Oh my gosh. So many good things here and I wanted to spotlight what Julie just said. Be interested in the other person. It really is a lot about, you know what? I'm gonna tune into this person and be interested in them. Yeah. Ask questions and listen. Keep it light in general. Find common interests. Yeah. Alright. What are you looking forward to? Love that. Ask questions more than you offer advice. Yes. And I will say, sometimes if I have like, I I once had a team, this was, like, very early on in virtual work times. I had a team who would not talk. They were not into chitchat. And so I got in the habit of asking them at the beginning of every yes. Soraya, exactly where I was just going as icebreaker. I would do would you rather questions. And I would have them answer in the chat. Would you rather be invisible or be able to fly? And inevitably, once they started in the chat, they would either chat more or they would come off mute and start talking. So I set the bar really, really low. Right? All you have to answer is this or that. And then it would go from there. So, that's a that's a tip there as well. If you have, someone who really is is not wanting to talk a lot, that can be a great way to get things started. Alright. So small talk is one. Jasmine, that's a really good point. Sometimes it's better to start by telling something about yourself. Right? If I tell you an embarrassing story about myself, which I've done several times today, I hope you appreciate that. I'm being vulnerable with you. Right? And now you're more likely to be vulnerable with me. Whereas if all I do is say, tell me about yourself and I never share, that's gonna make it harder for that person to share. So, yeah, thank you for bringing that up. Alright. Help them build their network. Whenever I have a new hire, the first thing I do is find them a buddy who is outside of our department and on the same level that they are at. And that is because I want them to have someone that they can go to and be like, oh my gosh. I really need your help figuring this thing out because this is wild. Right? I want them to have someone that they can eat lunch with and ask question of and things like that. So maybe it's that. Maybe it's you know someone on your team is trying to get better at a certain skill and you know someone on another team who's really good at that and you say, you know what? I'm gonna I'm gonna put you two together. I'm gonna connect you because I think you'd really learn from this person. And so that can be a great way to build networks. And then checking on team dynamics. Again, I know many folks are virtual or hybrid, especially check-in on those folks who are in a far flung time zone from everyone else. The person who never comes into the office when everyone else is coming in. Do they have the connection they need? Do they have a person they can go to? So definitely another thing to to do there. Alright. We are in our final stretch here. Go ahead and score how satisfied are you with your social inclusion. And there's some reminders for you. Making time for small talk, building networks, checking on team dynamics. So interesting. I'm noticing that oh, actually, you know what? I'm gonna I'm gonna pause on that. We're gonna come back to that in a moment. Now I'm gonna leave you all wondering. Right? Speaking of uncertainty. Okay. We're gonna come back in a moment. So we have wrapped up our five brain cravings. And now the last thing I want to do today is to pick a focus. So here is why I realized I should wait because here it is on this slide. It says on the slide here, identify your brain craving with the lowest score. But really, just what jumps out to you. Now the reason I paused it for a moment is I'm noticing that those who shared in the chat, social inclusion looks much lower than any of the other scores that you shared. Right? I just as I saw all these fives coming in and I was like, wait, what just happened? It was all eights, nines, tens before. I'm curious to hear why do you think that is? What is it that is causing that lower social inclusion score? Is it because we're the aliens among them, or is it something else? Yes. Exactly. The visiting aliens. Yep. Yes. HR can feel so isolating. Oh my gosh. Yes. You know, people like, oh, HR. Right? It's just that that thing. Ashley, really good point. Maybe you're the one who wants to be social and no one else on your team is interested and that can feel frustrated. Yep. Absolutely. Yep. I'm in the office. They're in the fields. Remote work is definitely lower social inclusion. Yeah. Absolutely. Well, I hope that being here today has boosted your social inclusion a little bit. You are with the people people. This is our place to be together and that is one of the reasons for sure. Okay. Oh, Barrett, that's a really good point. I I do try to keep that in mind that when you're the one who runs the social events, you're too busy working at them to get to do them. So, yes, that is a problem as well. Okay. So whichever one it is, whichever your lowest score is, what I want you to do right now is think about all the things we've talked about today that can boost those brain cravings. And I want you to come up with one thing that you could start doing differently for yourself. Whether it's in your one on ones or in some other way, what is one small thing you could do to boost that brain craving for yourself? And you can keep this one to yourself if you want, but I would love it if you would share it in the chat. So what is one small thing you can do to increase your own camp score? Alright. Yeah. It looks like meaning was a big one for folks. Yeah. Go go to a different campus and have have lunch with other teammates. Yeah. Take that time to do those things. And, you know, I think one of the things that can really, if we know something's out of our control, like I know the way people perceive HR and I'm never gonna get to go hang out and have lunch with people and have it not feel weird, then how can I focus on a different brain craving? Right? How can I double down on something else And then maybe try to meet that social brain craving in a different way, like coming to culture club? Right? So think about what is within your control as well. Alright. Oh, Jessica. I think I may be changing the way I look at progress. Nice. Oh, these are great. Okay. Small wins is a good one. Alright. Let's see. I'm gonna we've got a few minutes left here. I wanna make sure I leave a little bit of time for feedback, but I also wanna answer a couple more questions that came in. Jamie asked, would love to hear about how to facilitate social inclusion across an organization. For example, I see teams that have great social inclusion, but it doesn't go past the team. Alright. I'm gonna actually share something that I created at LifeLabs three years ago called Hives. And Hives is a opportunity that folks have to work cross functionally. So the way it works is every year in January, you get assigned to a Hive. And it is a group of people. The CEO might be in your group. It could be, you know, at all different levels, all different departments. We try to make it as mixed as possible. No one is with their manager. And there is a little bit of time carved out once a month to once a quarter. It varies. And sometimes it's purely social time. Other times, we get together and there are folks who will come and say, hey, I really need a cross section of of opinions on our marketing plan for this year. Or people ops might say, we're thinking about changing the vacation policy. I would love a couple of hives to come and meet with us and help us think through all the different perspectives. And it is a great way to sort of get people together. So that might be a little large, but something like that. Some sort of affinity groups or ERGs or things like that. So Jamie, I hope that one helps. Okay. And I just wanna look if I've missed any questions. I think we got them all. Okay. Alright. And, yes, Courtney is about to launch our survey, and it is also a QR code on the screen. But y'all, it is so much easier to click the link and do it because you can type not do this. At least that's my opinion. So Courtney is about to share a link. We would love to get your feedback. What has been useful to you today? How has this boosted your camps a little bit? What are you gonna take away from this? And what are the things you need, in your organization that perhaps LifeLabs could help you to figure out and bring forward to get the most out of your team? So I'm gonna be quiet for a moment and let Courtney, drop that link. There it is in the chat. Alright. I'm gonna give folks a moment to go ahead and type. I'm not sure. Let me see here. Alright. I think yeah. There it is. That should be an actual link that we'll click, I hope. Oh, Ashley. Okay. Manufacturing tied to a machine. Okay. Yep. Definitely a little trickier. The benefit is you're all together in person. Right? So there may be some ways to do some things then. And I yeah. It it can be tricky, especially if you have to be on all the time. Definitely, more in person things is good. And I'm just trying to think of if anyone has good ideas for Ashley. I'm I'm drawing a blank at the moment. But, anything, especially for manufacturing or folks who are physically together but focused on their thing. Right? They can't it's loud. They can't chat with each other. What are ways that you boost connection in those environments? Drop your answers in the chat for Ashley. Alright. And then while we're doing that, I'm gonna go ahead and start to wrap up here. If you are interested in learning more about LifeLabs and what we have to offer, please do reach out to us. Hello at LifeLabsLearning is the best way for anything. You can also reach me at kathy, k a t h y, at LifeLabsLearning if you have any questions about anything. But hello is usually the best option. Okay. Folks, this has been a delight. Oh, I love that, Sarah. A little music for resetting time, a little dance and sing along. That is a great idea. Thank you. Alright. Lunches. Alright. Thank you all so much, everybody. I'll stick around in case folks have questions. But otherwise, enjoy the rest of your day. Get a little campy. And if you're getting some snow this weekend, go out and make the best of it. Play in it. It'll be fun. Alright. Thanks, everybody.